• yesterday i went to the bookstore and picked up a book to read the summary on the back, and an employee walked by then and was like “omg i love that book!!!! i just read it a few days ago, it’s so good!!!!” so i got it and read it today, and it features an ass eating scene + a separate scene where the main girl fingers the main dude’s ass

  • “You know, I’m Nepalese. I was born in a village with barely any people. My story is so rare, I shouldn’t even be here. We lived in a clay house. We grew our own food, no tractors, no motorbikes, you know, no electricity, nothing. So, the fact that I’m here doing what I love worldwide and sharing it with so many people, sometimes even I have to pinch myself and think: is this really, really happening? So, baby me, I think she would think this was the dream. And she wouldn’t quite believe it. But at the same time, this was always my dream from the very beginning. I remember seeing a TV for the first time, maybe when I was like, three or four, in the village. And it was just this tiny thingy, and it took us ages to find some sort of electricity to get it running. It was in that moment, I felt inspired. I knew that that was my goal.”

  • my mother is an optometrist in a walmart and she’s very beloved in my small town for giving away lots of free appointments to people without insurance (and because she’s a saint and everyone loves her), and so lots of people give her gifts every time they come see her. like every christmas a lebanese family in town gives us like $200 worth of fancy imported lebanese baklava, one woman has given her a shit ton of handmade ceramics, one woman works at mary kay or whatever and gives my mom free makeup as thanks for helping her not go blind, etc

    so an old man had an appointment today and he was like “you told me your daughter likes cooking with mushrooms, so i brought some wild cremini mushrooms i picked and you can give them to her!!!” (that daughter is me. i love mushrooms, and cremini are my favorites) and my mom accepted the gift and thanked him and stuff, BUT she doesn’t want me to eat them because they’re wild and she doesn’t know if this guy is good at identifying mushrooms or not

    and now i’m really heartbroken because i thought i was getting a bunch of fresh mushrooms :’( she told me about the mushrooms just to rip them away from me. a true tragedy